Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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