highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize