Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
