no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
