To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Randomize
