I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
