He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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