i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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