yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
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