your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize