Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
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