hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
