girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
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