Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
