I'm so fucking centered right now
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
