You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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