I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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