so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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