And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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