I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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