So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Just high enough for therapy.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
