I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
