Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I want to be your penis for a week.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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