Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
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