If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
