Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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