He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
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i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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