McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
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