Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Randomize
