WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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