I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I'm just crazy horny about you
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
