I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
