I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip πππ
Your skills amaze me
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