Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
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