When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize