I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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