I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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