we're blogging at a bar
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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