i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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