i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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