Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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