you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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