i already hear my dad disowning me
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
