It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Randomize
