I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize