Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
