"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
