But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Just invented taco cereal.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Randomize
