Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Randomize
