So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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