tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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