Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
operation harelip BJ is a go
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
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