By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
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I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
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My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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