my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I wish there were birth control emojis
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
You are a genius and a whore.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
