I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
