I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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