I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
We have started to decorate penises.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize
