You're completely useless in the revolution.
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
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