update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
