Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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