Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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